dHarmony
dHarmony
By Maggie Reese
Recently a good friend was telling me all about the great fun he’d been having on the popular dating site called eharmony. He was meeting lots of interesting, like-minded people and genuinely wanted to meet someone special.
eharmony is currently one of the most popular and successful on-line dating websites. What makes their system unique is that they seek to match people based not so much on what they like, but who they are…the goal being to match people that will end up forming lifelong relationships. As I listened to my friend tell his eharmony stories a big light went off in my head…WOW…wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a site like this for people to use when deciding to get a dog! Like dharmony!
One of the most challenging things I encounter as a dog trainer are clients who have a dog that is truly not a match for them or their lifestyle…
Mary is a young working Mom with a husband and three small kids ages 4, 5, and 8. On a recent trip to the mall she visits the resident pet shop and falls in love with a cute little 3 month old Miniature Dachshund puppy. In a weak moment she whips out her credit card and is on her way home with the wiggly little wiener. A few weeks later…after a bit of the new puppy novelty wears off…I get her frantic call. “Maggi help!” “This puppy is…”
- Peeing and pooping all over the house!
- Crying all night in his crate!
- Chewing expensive shoes, sunglasses, cell phones, handbags, kids toys, bla…bla…bla.
- Not able to walk nicely on a leash…ugh…I hate that!
- Jumping on my kids and stealing food from them!
“My husband is pissed…I don’t have time for this!”
Impulsive decisions usually lead us down a very rocky road!
I calm her down and tell her I can help, but what I really want to say to her is “what were you thinking?!” “A puppy is tons of work and you have three small kids, a job, and a husband to take care of.”
If only she had used dharmony! Maybe a better match for her and her family would have been to adopt a mellow adult dog who is kid friendly and had a bit of basic training…just maybe.
John and Ingrid are a forty something couple in the prime of their lives, working hard on getting their small business off the ground. They work long hours and live in a small townhome with no yard. Their good friend Tony, who works from home and goes on daily runs, recently adopted a young Border Collie. John and Ingrid are amazed by the great relationship Tony has with his new dog, and they are inspired by how happy Tony is with his new companion. They decide that the Border Collie is the perfect dog for them, and they quickly find one to adopt through a rescue organization. In the first week of owning their new dog they come home to a couch that has been destroyed, curtains torn from the windows, base boards chewed to sawdust, and multiple notes left on their door from neighbors complaining about their dogs excessive barking. Clearly this dogs physical and mental needs are not being met, and he’s found a few interesting ways to cope with his mounting stress and anxiety. John and Ingrid return their dog to the rescue. They are sad and disappointed that it didn’t work out, and admit that they should have done more research on the breed of dog they thought would be a perfect match for them.
If only there had been dharmony!
Wake up people! Adding a dog to your life is just as serious as choosing a mate! It’s a commitment that should only be made after some serious thought and soul searching…just like you would if you were considering commitment to a life partner. Ask yourself…
- Does my energy level match the energy level of my desired four legged furry friend?
- Do I have the time in my life to exercise, care for, and train a dog?
- Do I have the financial resources to house, and care for my dog until the end of his natural lifespan? Let’s face it…to give a dog a great life is costs money. There will be vet bills, food, medication, boarding costs, training costs, leashes…beds…blankets…toys…and collars to buy.
And…here’s a biggie…
Am I choosing this dog because I think he’s cute, beautiful, smart, or looks like this great dog I had when I was a kid? It’s a HUGE mistake to choose a dog (or a mate : )) mostly based on looks, or what something looked like in your past. Every dog, just like every human, is an individual whose individual needs and personality must be taken into consideration.
So choose wisely my friends. Take the time to dig deep and ask yourself these important questions before taking the next step in getting a dog. Ask yourself…is my choice based on what I want, or what is best for both me and the dog? If you do you will surely make a great choice, and be well on your way to a great life with your canine companion.