The Freedom Trap: How too much freedom equals too much stress.
By Maggi Forootan
One of the most important components of my system of dog training is the injection of a fairly heavy dose of structure into the lives of dogs and their humans who are struggling. Structure for a dog is a lot like the kind of structure you would provide for a small child. It means that pretty much every moment of your life is planned for you.
– This is what time you get up in the morning…this is when you eat…this is how and when you play or exercise, and this is where and when you sleep at night.
Dogs, just like kids, thrive on structure!
Imagine for a moment what would happen if you let a 3 year old child make all of his own decisions. It’s a safe bet that this kid would be making some pretty unhealthy, even dangerous decisions without some parental guidance.
When a dog and his family are struggling, the kind of structure required to get things back on track requires that they give something up. Freedom!
Removing freedom from a dog’s life is often a really hard thing for dog owners to embrace. I mean really…freedom is a good thing, right? We live in a free country, and we love being able to make choices, express ourselves, and not have to worry about losing this freedom. What trips people up though is that they confuse the idea of freedom with an expression of love for their dogs. But, unbridled freedom in any society leads to chaos, lawlessness, suffering, and the breakdown of all that makes a society thrive in a healthy way.
For dogs trying to live as human companions in a human world, too much freedom without the right balance of leadership equals too much stress. These dogs are suffering on an emotional level with near constant anxiety about what to do, and how to react to their worlds.
What does stressed dog behavior look like?
Is your dog displaying constant, or intermittent rhythmic barking…running back and forth patrolling a fence line…alerting on and reacting to every little noise…neurotically pacing, or following you from room to room…charging in and out of the dog door to bark or growl at something outside, or overreacting on the walk?
These behaviors are all signs that the dog is a nervous wreck, and in a very unhealthy state of mind. The tough part for people though is that over time they become used to their dog acting this way, and they start to think it’s normal…or that it’s just the way their dog is naturally. But it’s not.
When these behaviors start they are usually mild, but tend to build and get more severe over time. Then, one day, your dog bites the mail man, or a small child. It seems like a random act, and owners say things like “he just snapped.” Or, “it was totally unpredictable.” But it wasn’t random or unpredictable. It was the result of many layers of stress, coupled with many small incidents left unaddressed over time.
People feel bad at first when I ask them to take away much of their dogs freedom. The dogs usually put up a fair amount of resistance as well, because it’s new. They’re being asked to break an unhealthy habit that doesn’t serve them, and it’s hard, just like it’s hard for a person that’s trying to quit smoking. Everyone knows that smoking is unhealthy, costly, and smelly. But it’s still a pleasurable, addictive habit for a smoker. Dogs get addicted too. The adrenaline pumping through their system when they are allowed to freak out, or practice anxiety all the time releases other pleasurable brain chemicals like dopamine. Before long they’re living in a world where they’re always looking for some reason to get their next fix.
My clients who power through the resistance of reducing their dog’s freedom come out on the other side of a beautiful moment when they see their dogs surrender into calmness. Their dogs learn to relax and just be an observer. They realize that their human is in control, and that the responsibility of reacting to everything is no longer weighing heavily on their shoulders.
So take an honest look at what’s really going on with your dog. If he’s displaying any or all of the negative behaviors mentioned above try cutting back on his freedom and adding more structure to his life. More time spent on Place just hanging out. Have him spend a few hours in his crate just resting when you go out. Take him on structured walks that provide not just physical, but healthy mental exercise as well. In time, as your dog starts shifting into a calmer way of being, you can offer more freedom because he will have found the state of mind that allows him to make good choices.
To me helping a dog out of an unhealthy state of mind is showing him the highest expression of love, and an offering of real freedom…the freedom from the stress, anxiety, and nervousness that has become his reality.
Lead and Love K9
Family dog training in Orange County, California